Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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