Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
