i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
