why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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