Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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