Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
