I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
