Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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