My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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