This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
