He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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