Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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