My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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