Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
