I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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