5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
