I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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