Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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