i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
