1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if only i could text you this smell
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
