I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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