Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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