i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
