Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize