Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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