if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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