Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize