Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
