I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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