I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
