my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
