Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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