After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
