where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
