A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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