also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
