what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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