I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
