My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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