I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs