Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
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Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"