You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
