I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize