You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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