This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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