found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
