I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
