You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
