and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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