She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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