my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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