I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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