So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
