Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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