Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
