u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
