I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
