And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
