btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
