Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
