I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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