But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
