I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
