i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
