so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
