he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
