walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
